


When She Goes, I Know She Doesn't Leave

by fangirl_in_a_trenchcoat



Series: The Phantom Chronicles [10]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV), The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Carrie Wilson Needs A Hug, Carrie takes a page out of Will Herondale's book, F/F, Flynn is the best as always, Hurt/Comfort, Shadowhunter AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29062983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_in_a_trenchcoat/pseuds/fangirl_in_a_trenchcoat
Summary: Yes, maybe Carrie had some abandonment issues, but so did Alex and Reggie for that matter and Luke would latch on to anyone he considered family, so they’d all just come together and stayed there. And it was nice.And then Flynn and Julie had announced that they were coming back, permanently and that was probably the highlight of Carrie's year because more people in her life just stayed. And she was happy. And her dad said she sounded happier. And she would shove all her insecurities in the back whenever they tried to resurface and remind her that last time things were good too until they weren’t, because this was not like last time. This was different. Everything was fine.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Carrie Wilson, Flynn/Carrie Wilson
Series: The Phantom Chronicles [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079396
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	When She Goes, I Know She Doesn't Leave

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a bit shorter than my last fics, but I really wanted to write something about Carrie and focus a bit more on Carrie/Flynn and Carrie & Alex.  
> Enjoy☺️

Carrie brought her blade up just in time to counter Flynn's and took out her knife to poke her side just like she was used to with the guys so many times, only to be met with another knife and Flynn grinning in front of her.

"You didn’t think you were seriously gonna get me with a knife in the gut, did you? Please," Flynn said with a scoff.

Carrie smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Flynn kissed her back, her grip on the knife loosening only slightly, so Carrie looped her leg behind hers', tripping her and bringing both of them down. Flynn landed with a thud on the floor, Carrie on top of her.

"You always do that," Flynn said with a groan.

"And yet you always fall for it," Carrie said and chuckled. "I’m literally so predictable with you and the boys, how do you always go down?"

"Julie is your only hope." Flynn sighed dramatically.

"She really is, she pays attention," Carrie said with a smirk.

"Stop kissing me and I’ll start paying attention," Flynn said. "I mean, I seriously doubt a demon is gonna try to kiss me in order to distract me, so I’m probably good."

"Don’t use logic against me," Carrie said just as Flynn's phone started ringing.

"Okay, as much as I’m enjoying this, that is probably my mom and if I don’t answer she might think I’m dead," Flynn said.

"Is that really the first thing?" Carrie asked with a raised eyebrow as she moved back.

"Have you met me? I’m reckless and unpredictable," Flynn said as she got up and moved to grab her phone. "Hey, mom!" she answered.

Flynn's parents had been working at the Shadowhunter Academy ever since she was ten. She said that she and Julie had declared they were going to be parabatai when they were six and there was no way she was going to leave the New York Institute, so she’d stayed back, Julie’s parents promising to take care of her.

It was funny really, because neither of them had realized that Carrie knew Flynn's parents until a few months into meeting each other. Carrie's dad also taught in the Academy, but unlike Flynn, Carrie had decided to follow the lessons there. She was good, but the whole experience wasn’t what she’d describe as _great_ so she'd dropped out when she was sixteen, moved to the LA Institute and continued training there with the boys.

Now, Carrie wouldn’t exactly describe herself as a warm, welcoming person. She didn’t take part in most conversations, only adding things she thought were needed. She didn’t have enough patience with certain things, she snapped at people when they couldn’t see things her way. She preferred hanging out in the training rooms by herself rather than be part of a group. She hadn’t started out like that though.

She’d gone into the Academy with a good attitude, excited to learn more, but there was always something wrong. She was too loud, she was too quiet. She was too nice, she was too mean, she was fun to be around, she was too boring. Carrie had tried, she really ha, but no one stayed for too long. And it wasn’t always that they disliked Carrie, sometimes they just liked someone else better. And Carrie had tried to adapt, until she’d gotten tired and thought _well, fuck it_. If she came across as cold, so be it. She’d learned to be tough ever since she was young, she’d built walls around herself to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt again and that made it even harder for people to get through.

She was so good at everything else though. Marks, languages, fighting... Especially fighting. She was probably the best in her year and that didn’t sit well with a lot of people. Some of them started rumors, how her dad was part of the faculty so it only made sense that she was the teachers' favorite. She didn’t care what they said, she knew she was good and she was willing to prove it if provoked.

It was her dad that had suggested her moving to an Institute. Because yes, sure, she didn’t care what others said, but she _fucking cared_ that no one had something nice to say. Or maybe they did, but they didn’t care enough to say it. Either way it sucked.

On the other hand, what good would moving to an Institute do? Wasn’t that going to be more of the same? And she wouldn’t be able to escape either.

 _Carrie, I just want you to be okay,_ her dad had said. And Carrie didn’t really believe an Institute was going to solve her problems, but she loved her dad more than anything and he just wanted to help her. She couldn’t say no.

And so she'd ended up in the LA Institute. Which was a... different experience from what she’d been used to.

The boys were... a unit. No, that much was clear, they weren’t parabatai, but they were connected. And Carrie should have felt like an outsider, they’d known each other for so long, it was only normal there wasn’t room for anyone else there. She knew how things were going to go. Like they’d always been.

But then Reggie had been a ray of sunshine. And Carrie so clearly wasn’t, but he didn’t seem to care, he was just as cheerful and happy to be around. He’d taken time to show her around the Institute, introduced her to everyone, asked about the Academy and Carrie as a person and he seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. He was one of those people who always had something nice to say, could keep the conversation going and change between subjects easily.

And then Luke had asked her if she played any instruments, which she didn’t. Carrie had a nice voice, but she’d always preferred dancing, she felt like it showed in the way she fought. That hadn’t stopped Luke from trying to divert her in the music room from time to time, but there was no getting her away from the training room. Luke had begrudgingly accepted that - he still tried to get her to sing with them from time to time - but he hadn’t pulled away. He would train with Carrie, trying to connect with her through something that wasn’t music - which really, now that she’d known him for a while, was a huge thing for Luke to do.

And then there was Alex. And Carrie loved all three of them, really, but she had a soft spot for Alex. They’d just somehow clicked ever since she’d come along, which was funny really because he wasn’t really talking to her that much when she’d first come along, so Carrie had naturally figured out he didn’t care for her being there. A few weeks after she’d arrived, she’d found him hyperventilating in the kitchen, had recognized it as a panic attack - she’d had a couple ones of her own when she was much younger and some things just... didn’t make sense - and helped him through it. That was when she’d realized, _hey,_ _the blond boy doesn’t hate me, he just has anxiety_.

Alex was sweet and he was sarcastic and he just cared so much for everyone and everything and that was all there for her to see when she’d made the first move. And Alex liked dancing which was always a plus in Carrie's book. And Alex's whole body had just relaxed when she’d mentioned how she had a crush on a girl back in the Academy.

And all three of them cared enough to see if she was okay, cared enough to back her up on patrols, cared enough to give her space when she just wanted to be by herself for a bit and cared enough to include her. And they didn’t care that she could take them all down, didn’t care that they didn’t necessarily have the same interests, didn’t care that they knew her for such a little time considering the lifetime they'd had with each other. Everything was suddenly so easy. She had people in her life other than her dad who _cared_ and who were there to _stay_. Because if she was certain about one thing when it came to those three, it was that they wouldn’t just leave.

Yes, maybe Carrie had some abandonment issues, but so did Alex and Reggie for that matter and Luke would latch on to anyone he considered family, so they’d all just come together and stayed there. And it was nice.

And then came Flynn and Julie and that was just beautiful on its own. Because Flynn was impulsive and she didn’t give a fuck about what anyone said and she loved weapons and she loved training and they loved training together and Carrie was in love and the fact that this was only going to last a year was shoved somewhere in the back of her head.

But then the year had ended and they had to leave and yes, it wasn’t the same, Flynn didn’t disappear. No, she would call every day and they would video chat and she was still there, but she wasn’t _there_. Carrie knew she couldn’t have everything and she would admit, maybe causing a diplomatic episode with Luke over it was just a tiny bit extreme, but she could blame the alcohol for that. She didn’t even remember how it happened.

And then they’d announced that they were coming back, _permanently_ and that was probably the highlight of Carrie's year because more people in her life just stayed. And she was happy. And her dad said she sounded happier. And she would shove all her insecurities in the back whenever they tried to resurface and remind her that last time things were good too until they weren’t, because this was _not_ like last time. This was different. Everything was fine.

* * *

"Well, well, well, this is new," Dante said. "Mr. Lightwood gracing the children of the night with his presence. Carrie, a pleasure as always," he added as he turned to her.

"You don’t even like it when the boys come here," Carrie said.

"Sure, but if the werewolves have a personal Shadowhunter to use whenever needed, we would very much like to get into that deal too," he said.

"Okay, can we just talk?" Alex asked the leader of the LA vampire clan with a sigh.

"Of course," he said with a smile as he motioned for them to follow him further inside the old building that housed several members of the clan. "I suppose you’re here about the rogue werewolves situation?" he asked.

"How do you know about that?" Alex asked.

"News travels fast and rumors even faster," Dante said. "Full moons are tricky. Some of us play it safe, some like to poke the beast as they say. You know werewolves go crazy when they see vampires during full moons."

"And you just enjoy making their lives difficult?" Alex snapped.

"You might have noticed I said _some_ ," Dante said. "Also you must know _some_ werewolves are not saints either. And some rivalries don’t just end because a Shadowhunter asked nicely."

"So where do we stand on the rogues?" Carrie asked, brining the conversation back into focus.

"Probably the same side," he said, "we have an understanding with Willie which obviously doesn’t extend outside the pack and a potential new Alpha could be much worse. Not that we're gonna get ourselves involved with the wolves, just in case."

They didn’t expect anything different, to be honest. They weren’t one hundred percent certain about what was going on yet, but everyone was looking out for their people and if something was wrong and someone challenged Willie for the Alpha position, the vampires wouldn’t want to be in the wrong side of things. Just in case. Carrie didn’t miss the way Alex stiffened next to her.

"Have you noticed anything suspicious going on?" she asked.

"Personally, no, I don’t see the appeal in risking your life going after a wild animal when it’s at the peak of its power, but there’s a lot of us," Dante said.

"Any idea who might know something?" Alex asked.

"Maybe... I'd have to ask around, you see it’s pretty early," he said, "you should really visit after the sun has set, the place is much more... lively. Carrie knows," he added with a smirk.

"Yeah, maybe after we're done with whatever this is," Carrie said, ignoring his innuendos.

"Our doors are always open," he said, "providing you're not here for business." Carrie was pretty sure if she came to party with the vampires she would end up with someone’s fangs piercing her neck and getting high from a vampire bite wasn’t high in the list of things she wanted to do in the near future.

Alex's phone started ringing and he hurried outside to answer it, while Carrie stayed back to talk some things out with Dante. She was on her way out too when she heard something moving through the air and before she could react, someone had wrapped one arm around her waist and one around her neck, holding her against them.

"Long time, no see," the girl who was holding her said.

Carrie groaned. She really didn’t have time for this. Or wasn’t in the mood. "Can I help you with something, Ivy?" she asked sweetly, aware that she couldn’t overpower vampire strength.

"I've missed you," she said, "you don’t come around often anymore."

"You are aware that we broke up two years ago, right?" Carrie said with a sigh.

"Time really doesn’t mean much when you’re immortal," Ivy said.

"Well, that makes one of us," Carrie said. "Can I go now?"

"No," she said stubbornly.

"Ivy, don’t make me do something I’m going to regret," Carrie said.

"Like what?" Ivy asked with a snort. The thing was, there weren’t many things Carrie could do at that position in order to escape and both she and Ivy knew as much. She also knew that Ivy was stubborn as hell and liked getting her way and Carrie had told Alex to wait for her outside, so it was going to be at least a couple of minutes until he came looking for her.

A sudden thought did cross her mind which sounded insane and kind of reckless and to be honest, like something Luke would do, but she needed to get out, words weren’t helping and Ivy was capable of dragging her further inside. Before she could decide against it, she leaned her head slightly forward - as far as it could go in the iron grip - and bit down on Ivy's arm hard.

That was enough to surprise her and for her hold to weaken, so Carrie wasted no time and brought her head back, hitting her face. Just as Ivy stumbled back, Carrie ran forward and down the hallway, reaching the door and opening it wide, enjoying the sun's warmth on her face.

It only lasted a second though when she swayed and stumbled forward herself.

"Woah, hey," she heard Alex's voice and suddenly it was his arms around her as she tried to stay upright. "What happened?"

"I... may have done something stupid," she slightly slurred her words as she slumped into him. "Ivy grabbed me and I bit her aaand now I’m here."

"You bit a vampire?" Alex shouted.

"But only like, a little bit," Carrie said.

"Shit, okay, come on," he said and suddenly she was lifted up, Alex holding her against him as he rushed down the street.

"No, you know what, I’m fine," she said, leaning into him nonetheless.

"Yes and I really do want to get to the Institute before you’re screaming in pain," Alex said.

"I would never."

"You know, you don’t have to be the tough one in every situation," he said.

"Well, watch me try," Carrie said stubbornly, hiding her face in his chest to conceal a wince. She’d only heard about how vampire blood affected Shadowhunters, never thought she’d actually have to live through it. She could already feel the euphoric feeling leaving her and the beginning of the pain spreading through her as her body tried to fight it off. She clutched Alex's shirt as she took a shaky breath.

"We're almost there," Alex reassured her.

Carrie tried to focus on his words, tried to work through the pain, tried to stay tough, but soon enough it felt like her whole body was on fire. She instinctively tried to get away, free herself from Alex's hold, but he wasn’t letting her go. Probably a good thing, but she wasn’t really thinking clearly at the moment.

She was pretty sure Alex said something, but she had no idea what it was. It wasn’t until a few seconds? Minutes? Hours? - probably not - later that she heard a different voice and then suddenly she was sitting on something cold and before she could focus on where she was, something ever colder was poured over her head, soaking her to the bone.

The haze in her mind began to clear out and she started focusing on her surroundings. The first person she saw was Flynn who grabbed her face so she could focus her attention on her.

"Drink this," she said, giving her a glass. Carrie took it and drank the holy water, the feeling slowly returning in her body. She let her head fall against the cold wall, closing her eyes and relishing in the feeling against her burning skin.

"You feel better?" she heard Alex's voice somewhere in the background. She nodded. She felt like shit, but she felt better.

"Okay, let’s get you out of the bathtub, shall we?" Flynn said softly and took Carrie’s hand. Carrie leaned into her and let her and Alex pull her out, leading her to her room. They opened her door and let her sit on the foot of her bed.

"I’m going to get some more holy water just in case," Alex said disappearing out the door again.

Flynn moved away too, but Carrie clutched her hand like a lifeline, not letting her go. "Don’t leave me," she said.

"I’m not leaving, just getting you some dry clothes," Flynn told her with a smile.

Carrie looked at her without letting her go, realizing that Flynn was going to go as far as the closet, but delirious enough by what was going on to focus on the leaving part. "Please don’t go," she said again quieter.

"Okay, okay," Flynn conceded quickly and looked around. "Oh, here!" She grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of leggings from the chair next to Carrie's bed.

She helped Carrie change and pulled her hair back because that was still a mess and Carrie really couldn’t be bothered to do anything else with it. "All better," Flynn said with a smile as she jumped on the bed and pulled Carrie back with her. "So you bit a vampire, huh?"

"She wasn’t letting me go," Carrie's words were muffled by where she was leaning into Flynn.

"No, I think it was a valid response, I just don’t like seeing you hurt," she said.

"I'm okay," Carrie said even though she didn’t feel like it. "Just," she added just as her eyes slipped closed, "don’t go. Please."

"I’m not going anywhere," Flynn said wrapping her arm around Carrie tighter.

* * *

The next time Carrie woke up, she felt more like herself. She wasn’t sure how long it’d passed, but it was dark outside. It couldn’t have been too late though, she could still hear voices around the Institute. Flynn was still lying next to her awake and grinned when Carrie looked up at her.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," Carrie said letting her head fall on Flynn's shoulder again. "You stayed," she murmured.

"Carrie, I love you, you know that, right?" Flynn said.

"I do," she said confused.

"I wouldn’t just leave you when you needed me."

Oh. Well... 

"I just... I don’t-" she hesitated. "I don’t know if I’m worth staying for sometimes," she said quietly.

"Of course you are," Flynn said without missing a beat, "I would literally camp in this room if you asked me to."

Carrie smiled slightly. "I just... I told you about the Academy... a-and my mom..."

Carrie's parents had gotten a divorce when she was eight. She’d stayed with her dad and her mom had left, moving to the Paris Institute where she’d eventually gotten remarried. At first she’d call, trying to keep some kind of relationship with her daughter, until once a week turned to once a month which turned to once in a while. Carrie had always been closer to her dad and he’d made sure she’d never missed anything, but she still missed her mom.

"Hey, look at me," Flynn said softly. Carrie pulled back slightly to do so. "You are fucking amazing, okay? I know that, we all know that. And we love you. I might love you a bit more than the others, but don’t tell them that," she said conspiratorially making Carrie chuckle. "No one here would ever leave you. _I_ would never leave you. Trust me, I’m loyal as fuck. Once you told me you loved me you got stuck with me forever."

Carrie laughed again and leaned in to kiss her. "I do love you," she said as she pulled back. There was something about the way Flynn talked, Carrie couldn’t really explain it, it was just plain trustworthy. She was straightforward, telling everything how it was, leaving no room to argue or doubt her. When she said she was there to stay, Carrie believed her.

"That’s good, cause I love you too," Flynn said with a smile. "Oh and Alex said he’s never leaving you out of his sight when you’re out together ever again."

"Yeah, I expected as much."

"I don’t know why, I think you handled it with grace."

"Right?"

Flynn smiled. "You’re okay?" she asked her.

Carrie couldn’t help but smile back. "Yeah," she said snuggling in closer to her and closing her eyes again, "yeah, I’m okay."


End file.
